Painful but delicious: stinging nettles

also: did old Bavarian men invent Girl Dinner?

I spent most of my childhood summers with angry red marks all over my ankles, knees, and wrists. If they weren’t mosquito bites, they were stinging nettle burns. Apple cider vinegar was a popular home remedy in the 90s (less so today, according to a quick Google search), but I found it almost as unpleasant as having sunscreen applied (my personal nightmare) or splinters removed (I would lie about splinters to the point of infection to avoid the dreaded tweezers). In summary, vinegar or not, stinging nettles were a constant source of tears and tantrums.

Ironically, consuming stinging nettles is a whole different story. They can reduce inflammation and improve hay fever symptoms, and they’re packed with vitamins and minerals. Nettle leaves taste similar to spinach, just a bit punchier. The seeds have a fun texture and a nutty taste when you sauté them in a bit of oil or butter. It's up to you to decide whether the juice (delicious cooked nettles) is worth the squeeze (painful burns)! This raises the question (which applies to so many other foods): WHO was the first person to eat these leaves?

Picking Nettles 101:

1. Wear 2 layers of rubber gloves when picking the nettles.

2. Go for the top 6ish leaves & seeds of the nettle plants. If they are flowering, don’t pick them!

3. Rinse them well in water (still wearing your 2 layers of rubber gloves)

4. Pat everything dry and separate the seedy threads from the leaves.

5. Blanch the leaves for a minute or two - this removes the spiky little hairs, which are responsible for burning.

Nettle Butter

Ingredients

• 125g (roughly 1 🇺🇸 stick, 1/2 🇬🇧 block) softened butter

• 1/4 cup nettle seeds, blanched

• 2 tb nettle seeds

• 2 tsp flaky salt

Instructions

1. Add everything to a small food processer and blitz several times, until the leaves are incorporated into the butter. Keep in a sealed container in the fridge for up to 2 weeks.

Nettle Butter Croutons + Nettle Butter Seeds

Ingredients (serves 4)

• 4 tablespoons nettle butter, from above

• A handful of nettle seeds (including threads)

• 2 slices sourdough bread, cut into cubes

Instructions

1. Heat up the nettle butter in a small pan. Add in the bread cubes and the nettle seed threads, and sauté on medium heat for a few minutes, turning a few times, until crispy and fragrant.

2. Remove and cool down on a plate lined with a paper towel, to absorb excess grease.

A Spring Soup

Ingredients (serve 4)

• 2 tablespoons olive oil

• 80g shallots, peeled and sliced

• Salt & pepper to taste

• 2 large garlic cloves, peeled and sliced

• 2 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed

• 1 fennel, roughly chopped

• 1 large zucchini, roughly chopped

• 75g baby spinach

• 1.5 cups chicken or vegetable stock

To garnish: creme fraiche, croutons, crispy nettle seeds

Instructions

1. Heat the olive oil in a pot and add the shallots and a pinch of salt, sautéing until fragrant and translucent. Add in the garlic and sauté for a few more minutes, til everything turns slightly golden (but not burnt).

2. Add in the potato, fennel, and zucchini, and cover with the broth. Simmer for about 20 minutes, or until the vegetables are softened.

3. Add everything to the blender, adding in the spinach leaves at the last moment to keep the bright green colour. Blend until smooth and bright green, and season to taste with salt and pepper.

4. Top with a dollop of creme fraiche, some croutons, and some crispy nettle seeds!

Chive Butter (including the blossom)🌸

Chives are beloved worldwide, but they have celebrity status in Bavaria/Austria. Buttered bread with chives is a staple here (it even has its own website: www.schnittlauchbrot.de), and it’s a key component in any “Brotzeit” (a typical Bavarian meal/snack, which consists of bread, butter, cheese, sausage, pickles and radishes - wait isn’t this just Girl Dinner?*)

Girl Dinner AF

The rules of Schnittlauchbrot are: spread a generous amount of butter on bread, and sprinkle with a reckless amount of chives. You shouldn’t be able to see the bread below it. This works with pretzels too - slice it in half, and use chive butter rather than normal butter.

*it turns out several publications have made this connection already, see: TikTok-Trend “Girl Dinner”: How the World Discovered Brotzeit - BR24 and It’s Also Known as Brotzeit - Süddeutsche Zeitung.

Ingredients

• 125g (roughly 1 🇺🇸 stick, 1/2 🇬🇧 block) very soft butter

• 1/2 cup chopped chives

• 4 chive flowers, crumbled

• 2 tsp flaky sea salt

Instructions

1. Mix everything in a bowl, then store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to two weeks.

2. Use on bread, pretzels, to fry eggs, on steak... you name it!

Rhubarb Butter 🍧

We’re back with some more Unsolicited Sweets™️ (unsolicited because you are presumably here for soup, not sweets). This rhubarb butter is simultaneously tangy, creamy, fresh, and sweet. Use it on toast, on pancakes, crepes!

Ingredients

125g very soft butter

1/2 cup rhubarb compote (recipe here)

Instructions

1. Add the butter and the compote to a small food processor and blitz until combined.

2. Store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to two weeks.

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